therealstevesmith

Terry Bradshaw relinguishes "Dumbest Steeler Quarterback" title

                  June 14, 2006

     Ben Rothlisberger may end up having a word named in his honor. When you talk a lot of shit about a thing, and then that thing you're poo-poohing happens to you, it might, from here on in, be known as a "Rothlisberger." Since the reports are that he's ok, I figured it would be okay to list some things that are not as stupid as being a franchise quarterback on a motorcycle without a helmet.

     Hey Yngwie, catch this knife. Hey James Earl Jones, just stand there while I kick you in the nuts. Dr. Ruth, let's ride bareback. OK Ice Cube, say "Cheese!"  Yo Tom Cruise, tell Brooke what a pansy ass she is, ok?  Coach Avery Johnson, let Dirk throw the inbound pass. America, take the day off and celebrate the futbol team. History professor, show 'United 93' in your advanced class. Shelly Long, movie star. Susan Powter, go crazy. Kellen Winslow Jr, are you gonna take that from a friggin Steeler!?!?  Tina Fey, we can fix that scar.  Ms. Streisand, everyone gets a nose job. Fox news, call it for Bush (sic). Akeelah, quick, what's 782 times 4?  Franco Harris, stay inbounds and take the hit from Darden. Lynne Swan, join Pat Robertson's party. Condoleeza Rice, forget assimilating. Al Roker, bulk up.

  Feel free to help a brother out.

   

Owens Feels TheRealSteveSmith

  Christmas '05

  Cancel your GQ subscription and bookmark this blog!

   Here's me on Dec 3.

Terrell Owens  - I hope he realizes how quickly the media has chosen to embrace the Bengals' Chad Johnson.  Three years ago when Owens stood on the Dallas Cowboys' star at the fifty yard line after scoring a touchdown, the media called him an insolent cretin (and sent me to my dictionary).  This season, Chad Johnson does "the riverdance" after scoring a touchdown and the media treats him like Patrick Swayze.  Owens should have never thought he was popular.     (Full post)

  Now here's Terrell Owens, to GQ magazine, released on Dec 16.

Owens wonders if the media is out to get him.

“The things that I’ve done in the past, like celebrate in the end zone, they’re making a fanfare out of it now with (Bengals wide receiver) Chad Johnson,” Owens said. “With all the celebrations that he’s done, they’re like congratulating him for it. But if it was me, they’d be like, ’Oh, we don’t need this in football, this is not good for football.’ Not that Chad is doing something wrong, it’s not his fault, but you kind of wonder, do they have it out for me?”    (Full article)

  So now that Owens has learned that, what will he do?  He'd be smart to recognize that he has true fans, and not change to please the fickle and biased media. His agent saved a little boys life, and still gets treated like he threw the Baby Ruth (tm) in the swimming pool. Owens reward will come by sustaining the onslaught, and in ten or twenty years he'll be known as the cagey ex jock who always gave a straight answer blah whatnot.

LA Weekly Endorsements

  November 5, 2005

Don't be a policy wonk, just know where to get the information. If anyone has a better general source than LA Weekly, feel free to reveal.

Give the Drummer Some

   October 6, 2005

  It figures a drummer, John Densmore, would be the most hardcore brother of the 60's, Is he the only one whose fire is still lit? (or here)

  I sometimes fall into the short-sighted trap of thinking conventional wisdom is permanent thought. It only becomes that if you give in to the peer pressure. Nothing's changed, just ask J. Densmore. The folks we rail against look at it with a scoreboard mentality. The lifestyle they "acquire" is soulless and empty; and keeps therapists, gurus and psychics in business.

  What's jackin me up is that I had given up trying to make this arguement, and act like nothing in me had changed. I'm not sure of the grammer but, that's what people who suck do.

  J. Densmore's point is philosophically impossible to refute, and that, is the end.

Who I's

           October 3, 2005

  This site has the complete TheRealSteveSmith library, seemingly with all its permutations.

Bill Bennett's Big Gamble

       September 30, 2005

  Remember Bill Bennett?  He compiled a bunch of stories, put his name on it and had the nerve to call it "The Book of Virtues".  It made Keyshawn Johnson look like the kid who found a lower price in those Circuit City commercials awhile back. The title alone makes it sound as if Bennett has some stuff that was left on King James' cutting room floor.

  Later it was confirmed that this guy is a piece of shit, and this man's comic strip is right up there with Boondocks when it comes to layin the truth on your funny bone.

  Well now Bill's said some shit that makes John Rocker look like Branch Rickey. Since he's almost certainly anti abortion (unless it would harm the mother), I feel like it gives off the vibe that he wouldn't mind if Black people currently alive were "aborted" to support his instigation. Sure, he tried to put white out on his comment, but what if he really feels like we have to fight crime at any cost?  I'm too young to die!

Timeline, Time Bomb

                                           September 8, 2005

  Bush was counting on the American people to hate Blacks, and we're gonna keep proving his ass wrong.

   Try this timeline on for perspective.

    However you look at it, these people did not care for the afflicted.  Props to my girl Zeven Up for telling me about this.

   "2004/07/23 -- FEMA Hurricane Pam -- a hurricane preparedness exercise -- eerily predicted what could subsequently happen if a major hurricane hit Louisiana, and purportedly prepared and informed FEMA and The White House for this contingency "to help officials develop joint response plans for a catastrophic hurricane in Louisiana". A White House staffer was briefed.
Ivor Van Heerden, a hurricane researcher from Louisiana State University who ran the exercise, says "the federal government didn't take it seriously. ... Those Corps of Engineers people giggled in the back of the room when we tried to present information." One recommendation from the exercise: Tent cities should be prepared for the homeless. "Their response to me was: 'Americans don't live in tents,' and that was about it," recalls Van Heerden."

  I got this from Randi Rhodes' web site.

Who'll Stop the Rain?

     September 3, 2005

  Whatever you're planning to send to the Red Cross, please subtract whatever it costs to buy everything Kanye West has ever done.

           Mr West,

  We knew it was a racist set up when NBC had the hottest artist of the hottest genre be a fucking PRESENTER at a benefit concert to raise money. 

           Love,

   TheRealSteveSmith

Political Correctness Dies

  September 2, 2005

  Why can Ken Lay steal 100's of millions from pension plans and be walking on this earth, but a black person in New Orleans with a pack of socks and a six pack of Busch can legally be killed on sight?

   The next time you hear the media or some idiot say, "Well, we still have a long way to go, but things are certainly better than they were", remind them of George Bush flying over the hurricane site and not even bothering to return until three days later.

  Bush is looking at the images on TV as if these Black people are an attraction at the zoo.  The hate of us is so palatable that I think they're just studying our reaction in order to fine tune their attempt to kill us all.

   As someone who saw the LAPD beat Rodney King and was told that they hadn't, there's no way I'm willing to accept that the streets are too dangerous for water, food and health supplies to be bussed in.  When these ex News stations are telling me that people (black males) are shooting at relief workers, I just don't believe them.  It's time to ignore these racists, who would rather see folks die than help them.

  I'm supposed to send money to the Red Cross and let the Bush make the tax cuts for the rich permanent.  Of course I donated (you can too!), but this deliberate animalization of New Orleans' poor population makes me realize that this is the new racism.

  It's tough to get one man. Kobe Bryant. Michael Jackson. Irv Gotti. Too many eyeballs focussed on the individual and even though Nancy Gross looking hos will spit their vitriol, and yes, white America will reflexively hate these people, there are laws that have to be followed, and OJ Simpson proved that there is a dollar amount that, at least an innoncent, and rich, black person can pay to achieve justice.

  However, if they can get Blacks into an Abu Gharib or Gitmo situation, then not only can they usher our death, they can use the media to convince the rest of country that we did it to ourselves.  Which means that yes, a black man could one day become president. It's just that his name would have to be Larry Elder.

Nation Hates On Milton Bradley

   August 24, 2005

  So now we'll spend a week or so hating on Milton Bradley for the sin of bringing up race.  Up until tonight, I'm sure most people didn't even look at Milton Bradley as a black person.  He was just a nigger athlete, the last demographic in America that white people can dump on without fear of being called a racist, because, my god, the guy's a friggin millionaire, he should just take his money, let us make our little jokes and go impregnate somebody.

  You may remember the high minded people of society making Bradley go to anger management classes in order to keep him from killing some knucklehead who said some stupid shit.  Who knew then we may have been saving Jeff Kent's life.

  By the way, read my plan to fix baseball.