therealstevesmith

Daunte Culpepper Leaves Vikings

        March 14, 2006

        I'm just gonna assume this means that the Vikings will be joining the Big Ten for the upcoming season (take the under vs. Penn St).

       A three time pro bowler traded for a second round draft choice from a team who went 9-7 last season, and that slight earthquake centered in Lake Minnetonka is indeed Corey Stringer rolling over.  Culpepper was given away, but the Vikings will be paying for it for the next several years.

Goodnight Vikings

   December 27, 2005

   To paraphrase Chuck D, "Once again it's off", for the Minnesota Vikings in their quest to atone for their dismal performance in Super Bowl XI.  When it comes to the playoffs, the Vikings have missed the boat.

   At least our record's better than the Raiders. 

Riot in the House

   November 15, 2005

   Sunday afternoon I figured out what makes the NFL so great.  No matter how wack your team's eventually proven to be, there is always one game each year that makes you feel like you. just won. the fuckin Super Bowl!!

  The Vikings did exactly that last Sunday, beating the (sorry ass) Giants 24-21. They won by becoming the first team in the history of the NFL (bout 80 yrs) to score touchdowns via punt, kick off and interception returns in the same game.  They picked off Eli Manning like he had come and gone. Their second string quarterback,  Brad Johnson, took a helmet shot to the chest that was so vicious, his chest actually wrapped around the helmet and everywhere the helmet went, Johnson was following it, saying, "Hell no, you ain't hitting me no more..."

  The fact that this game was televised in L.A., means it was done mainly to attract the New York transplant crowd, and that makes the victory even doper.  For three hours the better team had a chance to win and the Vikings stood tall every time they roared. Their offense sputtered the entire day, but when Paul Edinger came out to attempt a 58 yard field goal on the final play of the game you knew we had done just enough to get our Super Bowl for 2005.

  I'm still smiling.

ps. enough of that Bear running the kick back 108 yards. He sucks. The Vikings will bust Chicago in the mouth when they hook up again.

2,4, 69, Make That Women's Eye Shine

                         November 8, 2005

  If the Lingerie Bowl had a halftime show, this would be it.  Cheerleader sex, followed by violence.  That'd be cool if "Humpty Hump" was on and dude was saying, "I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom."  Or like my girl Rachel suggested  -  send them up to the Twin Cities and let em cheer for the Vikings!

And do you even have to ask why my ABC affiliate has on "Wife Swap" after Monday Night Football, when it used have on "Jeopardy"?

Culpepper Cold Chillin

  Novevmber 2, 2005

   Daunte Culpepper's season ending knee injury doesn't destroy the Vikings post season chances, but it will make it less fun. Culpepper is the prototype of the post McNair era, which followed the Cunningham era, a big, solid strong armed QB who can stand in the pocket or take off for 18 yards. That's what he did on the last play of the first quarter, when he tore up his knee.

Vikings Search For Tight Ends

                                          October 13, 2005

  After so many stellar years ending in bitter, at times tear inducing, defeat, the current Minnesota Vikings can't even get to the finish of a boat ride. Five weeks into the NFL season and they still can't complete a pass.  Where's Fair Hooker when you need one?

  On the isreal though, I don't know how much of the story to believe.  These things with athletes, especially NFL and NBA players, usually feed on fear and stereotypes.  The boats were only out at sea for 90 minutes, and 260 pound guys can't even be legally drunk until they've had about 4 beers.  So I wouldn't be surprised if this is much do-do about nothing. 

  I will say that if the college kids on staff didn't accept money to get busy, it would show exactly what's wrong with our educational system today.  Aren't they trying to get paid?  Besides, you can't fault the Vikings for trying to find a few people eaters. 

  If these allegations are true, I'd understand, because I guess it would mean the Vikings wanted to see someone else suck for a change. Trust me though, if the Vizikes go 10-2 the rest of the way, you'll see Under Armour making life jackets, talking about, "We Must PROtect this Boat!"

Following Up On Fowler

                 May 27, 2005 

Arizona businessman Reggie Fowler will not be the majority owner of the Minnesota Vikings.  He still will hold a spot as a partner.  It appears that he needed to run at least a 4.5 forty yard dash and came in at around 4.96.

  No applause, just kiznake, cause I told you in February this deal was gonna have problems.   

Tice a Phony, the Minneapolis Treat

                           March 10, 2005

   I knew Vikings coach Mike Tice had promised to get us to the Super Bowl, but I didn't know I'd have to pay double the face value to get there.

  Deep down we know that every person who has the opportunity is taking advantage of it.  This is candy from a baby stuff.  I wonder if the informant ever wore a wire.  Now that would be funny.  Everyone all up in arms about capitalism.  I can't wait for this to not play out.

I hope this isn't some plot to fire Tice.  There are so many other credible reasons.

Chaney

                March 1, 2005

My only question regarding the John Chaney incident is this.... Were the refs making jacked up calls? Coach Chaney was saying that St. Joe's utilizes illegal screens, and no one has reported whether that's true. You can see from this BULLCRAP that a ref not making a call (in this case, offensive interference) can have an impact on the result of the game.

  My sense is that Chaney was probably in the wrong.  You can't tell a kid who only plays a couple of minutes a game to go out there and raise a ruckus and not expect sparks to fly.  I'm just interested in getting beneath the obvious.

Raiders Gather Moss

                                  February 24, 2005

  There's no need to have an opinion about the Randy Moss trade.  Math doesn't require an opinion, unless rent is due.

Let's say, Moss= x. Now fill in the top receivers and ask if their teams would  make the deal the Vikings have alledgedly made.

X= Marvin Harrison.  Please.

X= Terrell Owens. Probably owns a home nearby, but still, hell naw.

X= Hines Ward. More like mental ward if they moved him.   

X= Tony Gonzalez. ?Donde esta el bano?

  The Randy Moss to the Raiders trade sucks. He wasn't asking to be traded and the Vikings' deficiencies are not addressed by kowtowing to Daunte Culpepper's hissy fit the week of the Pro Bowl.   Let me explain some shit about football, specifically the NFL. 

1.  It's easily broken down into decades.  Doesn't matter if it's 1960-1970 or 1985-1995, the violent nature of the sport gives us 10 years to judge whether a player was dominant in their era.

2.  If you run faster and jump higher than the other players, you can improve your chances of being considered among the best in your era.

3. Teams lucky enough to get the best players of a given era have the best chance to be successful on the field.

4. When a team has a player of this caliber, if they trade him, then they are fucking out of their minds.

  It's too bad Moss is gone because I have a feeling that both the Vikings and the Raiders will continue to drift around the edges of decency, except that now the Raiders will do it on TV and the Vikings under the radar.

  ESPN is really playing up the malcontent angle that eveyone over 30 knows accompanies Oakland 'til the world is only cockroaches.  All that swashbuckling Raider outlaw image crap is from the 1970's.  Have you peeped their #1 outlaw lately?  It's Barrett Robbins, not John Matuzak. Do the Raiders believe that Moss won't straight whip Kerry Collin's ass by next Veteran's Day?  And  if Collins spits out "Nigger" again, he'll be on him like knee on light.

  That's not the point though.  My main concern is that the Vikings aren't going to get any better by doing this, and I'm forced to roll with them cause that's my team (I care a little bit now). Yizikes.