Sept 7, @))^
Damn. We can't even get through 54 minutes of pro football, and they already cheatin for the Steelers. How was that a touchdown in the 3rd quarter? Because some ref with the body of a Wal Mart greeter is running 10 yards BEHIND the play, looking at the game instead of reffing it (effin ish). If Miami loses this game, it's just same ol, same ol. I thought this was going to stop after the NFL practically apologized for handing the Super Bowl to Pittsburgh.
February 11, 2006
Warren Moon becomes the first African American quarterback to be elected into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. It's going to be a long ass time until another one is inducted. And the next one will definitely have to win a Super Bowl to get in. So that leaves out anyone with 'Mc' in their last name. Culpepper and Vick have a shot, but the odds are about the same as a Drew Bledsoe or Rich Gannon.
You have to love Reggie Miller. He put Charles Barkley in more hot water than a cannibal. In the next few days you'll be hearing the media say that Barkley said that Oklahoma is not a good place for Black people. The two were part of a cable show that was interviewing rookie-of-the-year candidate Chris Paul, who plays for the New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets. During the interview, Barkley remarked that he had not seen Paul play much because the Hornets are rarely on TV. When Mr. Paul suggested he come to Ok City to watch a game, Barkley said, "That's no place... well, let's just say I won't be there anytime soon." Chris Paul said, "What? You too lazy to come to Oklahoma?" Barkley actually became demure, and the interview continued for another few minutes, covering a number of subjects. When the interview was over, Reggie said to Charles, "What were you gonna say....No, I want to know what you were gonna say. Oklahoma's no place for what... And Barkley, like any fat kid, ate the cake. The funniest part is that they were laughing at the prediction that the whole thing was going end up being controversial. The thing about Mr. Miller is that that's how he baited people his entire career. My perspective is that I once almost killed a guy in Oklahoma City. A fool came at me shaking a gun in my face and I hit him so hard he fell back into a swimming pool and literally had to be saved (don't try this at home or in 2006). So maybe Barkley has personal experience.
February 6, 2006
The Public has finally caught on to the fact that the refs can absolutely ruin the game, and if they do, they must be held accountable. That hollow feeling in your stomach is the realization that it's impossible to be entertained if the people in charge are either cheating, or suck. Here's a good, mainstream example of what I'm talking about. Here's another. And another by some friggin video gamers (the crowd that supposedly doesn't like football). When you have non-fans saying the game was a crock..... well, you know the rest. If you have serious interest, just google 'Seahawks robbed' and have a nice day.
I wasn't going to write about this, because I thought no one cared. I addressed this after the Patriots were victimized by the officials in the game at Denver. (here and here). A brick through one of the guy's windows would be a gesture of love.
My analyses of the game was spot on - the Seahawks beat the Steelers in time of possession, yardage gained, and had fewer turnovers and still lost by 11 points. The only thing I had wrong was that they would cheat for "The View" and not the demographic that remembers the '70's Steelers. The Super Bowl refs made the refs in the Ohio State-Miami game a few years back look like Solomon. The Steelers indeed got one for the thumb, but fans got the middle finger.
February 5, 2006
Fresh off my dual wins in the Conference Championship, I figured I'd save you the trouble of watching the Super Bowl. This way you can make sandwiches and whatnot during play, then run in real fast to catch the commercials.
Look.... 1 - The Steelers have been good for about 7 weeks. The Seahawks haven't lost a meaningful game since Oct. 2.
2 - Holmgren has already won a championship, not so for coach Jaw.
3 - The player getting the most media attention, Jerome Bettis, doesn't even start. The player no one's talking about, Shaun Alexander, is the league MVP this season.
4 - Far as I know, Hasselbeck is still the bro-in-law of girl on "The View", and this time the game's actually ON ABC. I wouldn't be surprised to see those women riding shotgun with the Blue Angels when they fly over the stadium (bonus points if you get that one).
5 - No Team has ever won three road playoff games and prevailed in the Super Bowl. AND a 2nd year quarterbak has yet to win the big game.
6 - Parity in the NFL is not a myth. Other than the Patriots, the AFC has not been better than the NFC this decade. Seattle has the better record.
7 - It's been awhile since we've seen a championship parade in the rain.
8 - There's an autistic man in Redmond who basically runs the world. When you see that ref go into the peepshow, it's probably Gates himself editing the replays. It was in Paul Allen's severance package.
9 - The phrase "One for the thumb" is too good to give up now. We need it.
10 - Seattle 26 Pittsburgh 20 Under the total of 47. As always, my goal is to entertain.
February 4, 2006
Continuing to prove that the reaction to Janet Jackson was a particulary smelly form of racism, the Rolling Stones have been tapped to perform during halftime of Super Bowl XL. Maybe Miss Jackson can rehabilitate her image by trying to smuggle heroin across the border into Canada or singing about Black women getting whipped by slave drivers. If she's not too busy wanting to be fucked all night.
If La Stones have any stones this will be their set list...
Tobacco Road (in honor of Lou Rawls)
Midnight Hour (in honor of Wilson Pickett)
Bitch (in honor of the NFL promo department)
It's pretty silly not to have someone from Detroit playing the halftime show. I think it's unintentionally given the NFL some any-publicity-is-good-publicity. Even without Motown, the city has a rich musical history, and the League needs to hire some people with a feeling for the real world, as opposed to relatives.
Here's just a short list of Detroit artists who would be better than the Stones for THIS occasion...
White Stipes
Eminem
Bob Seger (d' da da Da Da DA DA!)
Slum Village
Kid Rock (ok, so now I'm just naming people from Detroit)
KiZZ (references available upon request)
Lastly, I don't know what people do with black music, but somehow it never quite achieves the cultural currency afforded to rock and it's cousins. Case in point. A lot of news stories have lamented the fact Motown music isn't being featured, followed by how the situation was rectified by booking Aretha Franklin to sing the National Anthem. Franklin was never on Motown. Her connection is to Atlantic Records, where with the the great Arif Mardin, she recorded the tracks that would help spawn the Women's Lib movement of the '70's (you have nothing to lose but your bras).
Don't call all black music from the 60's "motown", just cause it's from that era. It's lazy and disrespects the breadth of creation that comes from the Black Experience. My fear is that if we call Aretha Franklin Motown now, in 50 years we'll call Sam and Dave Motown, and that's just wrong.
January 21, 2006
University of Texas fans can celebrate that there is no playoff in college football, but the people who get paid a lot can't afford that luxury. NFL players have to keep on keeping on, even if they won their division in November, or their key guy got a concussion, or someone is getting stabbed as I write this.
Here's the way the Conference Championships look. Pittsburgh at Denver: Last week, Denver got more gifts than a senator in Malaysia, so expect them to get frustrated early and self-destruct. Having a perfect home field record this season only increases the pressure. The Elway Shadow still looms. Jerome Bettis is this year's John Elway. Steelers 27 - Bronchos 23.
Carolina at Seattle: Mike Holmgren has my respect as a person who stooped to conquer. He removed the multiple titles from his job description and has just coached his team to the doorstep of Super Bowl XL. Hasselbeck is the bro-in-law of girl on "The View," so close calls go to the 'Hawks. The Panthers have one man who can't be stopped, but let's face it, there's only one TheRealSteveSmith. Seahawks 26 - Panthers 23.
January 14, 2006
The New England Patriots continued their pursuit of an unprecedented three consecutive Super Bowl wins with a victory over the Denver Broncos....
Wait, this just in. The officials have given the Broncos 17 extra points by making bullshit calls.
Final score: Broncos 27 - Patriots 13. And you thought we'd remember 9/11 forever.
January 14, 2006
That was a Touchback on the Bailey interception. Stop CHEATING. And these punk ass announcers. Phil (Dim) Simms said he saw the angle that would reverse the call. Then when they don't reverse it, he starts slobbing all over the NFL's nuts talkin, "Oh, it was an impossible play to overturn." That, reader, is the definition of a pieback.
January 14, 2006 (Halftime of Patriots vs. Broncos)
Man I hate the Denver Broncos. That pass interference call against the Patriots was the worst piece of officiating since Michael Jordan threw Bryan Russell out of the way to hit that game winning shot at Utah in '98. How does a ref want to inject himself into a game so badly that he cheats on a judgement call? It pisses me off, because I just want to see a good game in a sport I love, and now some insurance company exec is going to give the ball to Denver on the one yard line. Yale could score from the one yard line.
Then, on Denver's lucky field goal, the replay clearly showed a Bronco tackle offsides. And I always thought their offensive lineman didn't talk to the media because someone might ask them about all the cut and crackback blocking they do, jeopordizing people's careers and shit.
So that's their ten points at the half, right there. It's gonna be sweet when they lose, and I'm not even a Patriots fan.
At some point the NFL will have to asses the penalizing of pass interference at the spot of the foul. It's silly to have a challenge system that doesn't allow a review of the harshest penalty in the sport, when interference is the toughest call to make correctly.
Christmas '05
Cancel your GQ subscription and bookmark this blog!
Here's me on Dec 3.
Terrell Owens - I hope he realizes how quickly the media has chosen to embrace the Bengals' Chad Johnson. Three years ago when Owens stood on the Dallas Cowboys' star at the fifty yard line after scoring a touchdown, the media called him an insolent cretin (and sent me to my dictionary). This season, Chad Johnson does "the riverdance" after scoring a touchdown and the media treats him like Patrick Swayze. Owens should have never thought he was popular. (Full post)
Now here's Terrell Owens, to GQ magazine, released on Dec 16.
Owens wonders if the media is out to get him.
“The things that I’ve done in the past, like celebrate in the end zone, they’re making a fanfare out of it now with (Bengals wide receiver) Chad Johnson,” Owens said. “With all the celebrations that he’s done, they’re like congratulating him for it. But if it was me, they’d be like, ’Oh, we don’t need this in football, this is not good for football.’ Not that Chad is doing something wrong, it’s not his fault, but you kind of wonder, do they have it out for me?” (Full article)
So now that Owens has learned that, what will he do? He'd be smart to recognize that he has true fans, and not change to please the fickle and biased media. His agent saved a little boys life, and still gets treated like he threw the Baby Ruth (tm) in the swimming pool. Owens reward will come by sustaining the onslaught, and in ten or twenty years he'll be known as the cagey ex jock who always gave a straight answer blah whatnot.
