Can I Duh?

                               June 11, 2006

     I heard something about some authorities taking down a terrorist plot up in Canada the other day. Didn't really read the articles, can't even tell you what city it was in, but after the Haditha massacre, I was anticipating hearing some righteous good news. Like most with common sense, I understand they hold their position on a target and only take it out when it will achieve maximum political gain (a man, a plan, a koran, al-Zarqawi).

    I hope Canada can continue to handle its terrorist problem. I would hate for the United States to have to invade Canada to "help" them handle an outside threat, even if it's homegrown.

    So, I knew the story existed, the New World Order had triumphed, and that it was safe to look at the baby pictures. And then I found this article and it ignited some interest. It made me think...Racists were here long before terrorists. As long as we're sanctioning murder, let's kill them.

   A tad politically correct, perhaps, but nothing else has worked. We yank corroded teeth, we demolish buildings that have outlived their usefulness, we attack cancerous cells; we can make racism the new terrorism.

   Consider those soccer hooligans who spit at and throw bananas at Black players on the field. Simply follow them out to their cars and blast 'em at a red light. Just google the Notorious B.I.G. police file to get the assasination plans. That 'local' bank that's still marking the applications of minorities and charging them higher interest rates for loans?  Snap an ATM card in half and slice that CEO until he looks like a first draft. When they do those stings where secret applicants call up apartment buildings and get rejected just because they say their name is Tamara or they have a 'black accent?'  Drown that asshole in the bathtub of one of the apartments and put it on pay-per-view. The terrorists will fall in line.

    Only you can prevent racist fires.

U2: Selling Out Or Buying In?

  October 11, 2005

  Mike Malloy has reported that the News Max website is reporting that U2 is playing a concert to raise money for Pennsylvania repugnantcan Rick Santorum. 

  While not sure if it's true, I haven't been this frightened since the Edge took the lead vocal on that one song.  Please, someone tell this is false!

Here's To You, Mr. Robertson

         August 27, 2005

   His saving grace is every time you see Pat Robertson, if you really look at him, he looks high as a muhafog.  Then when you hear what the fuck he's saying, it's obvious he's on christian meth.  Without these fun facts, he'd be a worthless piece of shit.

   If Janet Jackson had "pulled this off", her album, "Damita Jo", would have reached "Jagged Little Pill" numbers.

   Calling for the assasination of political leaders in this post 9/11 climate is covered in the Patriot Act as a terrorist threat. But don't expect this false man to get the Martha Stewart or L'il Kim treatment. No, he may as well be working in the media department at Haliburton.

  To make it worse, homes' show is on the ABC Family Channel. Are they gonna cancel "The 700 Club"?  Is the FCC gonna give an FCC about this? Will Robertson, who looks like Pat Boone on a bender, get arrested for his illegal acts?  Or is Pat just positioning himself for another run at the White House in '08?

  Could you imagine a H. Clinton / P. Shitty runoff in November of '07?  You know in your heart he would win. It would happen because the Repugnantcans have figured out the formula, "Live scared or Diebold."

  Attack this pig and all who are like him at every opportunity.

   

Benny XVI and the Jets (Cardinals)

                              April 19, 2005

Here's one you might all know....

    Benny XVI and the Jets

Cardinals / shake it loose together / locked up in a room no women whatsoever /

If they don't do it at once / they'll stick around

Did you put your money on the guy with the German sound?/

Oh Peter and Mary have you seen him yet / Oh but they're so prayed out

B B B B B Benny and the Jets

Oh they're holy and wonderful / that Benny's really elderly

He got a crimson robe/ a microphone / you know I found out 'bout it on my TV oh Oh/

B B B Benny and the Jets

It Could Happen to You

  April 2, 2005

  I wonder if Terri Schiavo ever thought she'd end up in a celebrity threesome wtih Johnny L. Cochran Jr. and the Pope.  If they're together now, the Pope is blessing her and Cochran is defending her.  Not a bad combination.

  So I started thinking, what other two celebrities would I want to die in the same week as (you nome sayin).  And being 5/5 of an American I decided to do a top five.

5. Charlton Heston and Barbara Walters.  If she could get him to cry, maybe I could grab that gun out of his cold hands.

4. Carol Burnett and Chuck Berry.  I could produce the song "I'm so Glad My Dingaling Had This Time Together."

3. Darryl Gates and David Horowitz. We could take turns doing that whole "chokehold on normal people test" just for laughs. You know, turn a negative into a positive.

2. Haley Joel Osment and Dakota Fanning.  I'm trying to break the record.

1. Jim Morrison and Tupac Shakur. Just in case. At the Pearly Gates. It's not what you know...it's did you go?